December 2010
20 posts
The 12 Hours (God I hope not) of Christmas (This...
Okay this just in…. the bowl that the melted wax leaked out of was cracked because I microwaved it and it wasn’t microwave-safe.
Oh well…
The 12 Hours (God I hope not) of Christmas...
1st hour of Christmas—I backed my moms car into my car trying to deliver presents to Carrington’s house. Yep, it sucks. No dents, just scratches but a helluva way to start off Christmas and huge evidence that Santa is not on my career to-do list.
2nd hour of Christmas—The oven caught on fire. My grandma spilled wax in the bottom yesterday while we made candies. My mom discovered...
Sarah burn baby, burn
So, 3 hours ago Sarah, Carrington and I were chilling the apartment and realized that the room above us smelled like smoke. We got the RA and informed him for the sole purpose that we wouldn’t have to go outside in the icy rainy cold because someone set off the fire alarm.
Okay, now fast forward to 20min ago. Carrington and I are in my room watching the Incredibles and Sarah is in the...
The Cerebral Librarian: So I am the grinch who... →
Hahaha! I should’ve 8 )
poisonedrationality:
did you put antlers on Ogden and make him drag it out to the car too?
thecerebrallibrarian:
So we had to get rid of our contra-banned Christmas tree because of room inspections. Apparently a Christmas tree is a fire hazard (pshh!)
After many fruitless requests of people to take our lovely tree and give it home, my folks decided that they...
So I am the grinch who Christmas
So we had to get rid of our contra-banned Christmas tree because of room inspections. Apparently a Christmas tree is a fire hazard (pshh!)
After many fruitless requests of people to take our lovely tree and give it home, my folks decided that they would take out precious pine.
My mom was originally going to pick me and the tree up this afternoon, after church and well after everyone in my...
When the Saints Go to Golden Corral
So after the H2H concert on Sunday, my mom and sister and I went to Golden Corral for dinner. While there we found ourselves trying to fight through buffet which was under attack by 20-odd sizeably blessed black choir members on their way either to or from an event. These people sparked some creative juices in my sis, mom and me and we wrote the following medley dedicated to them.
When the...
Alani (to Sarah): Hugh Grant has been the prime minister all along.
Sarah: When did he off Tony Blair.
Me: Tony Blair isn't even prime minister anymore!
“Ivey, tell Kate to stop molesting Sarah with a snail. Snailesting.”
– Alani (via xblondey112x)
Sarah: Can Shemar Moore be our fourth for the bowl game?
Kate: Put in your request now: Sarah, Alani, Stephanie, and Shemar Moore. Preferred room: sauna.
Alani: Chocolate!
Alani: He's going to piss off TSA
Sarah: They're going to taze him. Don't taze me bro!
Stephanie: They're going to gun that kid down.
Kate: He's a terrorist! He's got shampoo down his pants!
Alani: He's got a bomb!
Alani: I'm glad that that naked picture inspired you.
Stephanie: Naked David Bowie always inspires me
Stephanie: You Ginger Slut!
****
Alani: Is that a new type of cookie?
****
Sarah: Ron Weasley, give up on your dreams! Hermoine will never love you!
Kate: Ok, she was not in this movie!
Alani: Who are these people?
Sarah: Is that Asian whore's family? These people weren't in the movie!
Alani: Yes they were. There's Sam, and John.
Stephanie: And Dr Frankenfurter.
Sarah: Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill were lovers!
Carrington (the History major): Wait, abraham lincoln and winston churchill had a fling in 1863? ok... did they live together or just chat roulette?
Stephanie: No they were totally together. they were like frisky squirrels. I would watch and touch myself.
Carington: To squirrels?!
God bless my grandmother
So my grandma took one look at me today and decided that I was too sick to be worried about re-arranging work schedules and baking turkeys, needed to focus on feeling better because I had a busy weekend, and that she had nothing better to do. So she took the birds to cook for Saturday.
God bless that woman. Now I get to go to bed.
I think I’ll feel better tomorrow 8 )
“600,000 priuses are being recalled. They are being recalled because the cooling...”
– George Lopez (via xblondey112x)
Ivey and Me on Dr. Drew...
Ivey : Dr. Drew's going to be on Conan in a few minutes...we should remember him for the calendar
Ivey : aww... he wore a suit, no t-shirt today
Alani : Damn. Well Ivey you and I are just going to have to become sex addicts. and maybe he can cure us with exposure therapy.
Ivey: Hahahaha. I almost laughed in class! And I'm not sure I can explain how distribution of minority populations in the US are funny.
Alani: Hahahaha. We just tell 'em I'm black and you're half Native American and show them a picture of Dr. Drew and they well understand. lol.